The first snow

The first snow

Finally! The first snow has arrived and everything is covered in a white blanket. It’s not much snow, but enough to get me excited like a little girl  and get my winter-mood back on.

This morning I was welcomed by a white garden. The roof of our gardening shed and our pergola was all white. Everything looked so pretty. Ofcourse it was not much snow, and soon it started raining again so it’s mostly just ice. But at least it looks pretty. All of it will probably be gone by tomorrow so I might as well enjoy it all I can today!

On the radio everyone is warning about how dangerous and slippery the roads are. If you don’t HAVE to be somewhere: stay inside today! But ofcourse this was the only day I had plans and I will go outside. Time for some girl-time with my friends so no way we are cancelling this. I also must admit we’re going through with the plan because someone is picking me up. I’m too afraid to drive on these roads and after being home from work for 4 months due to my surgeries, I really don’t want to end up in the hospital again. I don’t think my boss will apreciate me calling to say I’m at the hospital again. So let’s hope we don’t crash today.

Researche for France

My hubby and I have been doing a lot of researche lately for our Project France. We have been checking the available houses and properties on severeal website, what’s new and what’s gone. We have been checking out a lot of Youtube movies about people who have done something similar and got some good ideas from them. We’re checking out different kinds of stuff to live as selfsustainable as possible like solar panels (how much will we need and what will this cost), will there be a waterwell on the property or what if we have to drill one,  but also different kind of methods about gardening and how to preserve your food. There’s a lot of things we will have to learn or buy to live a kind of selfsustainable lifestyle (as much as possible) and just be able to live freely and dept-free.

But as always, we are so ready for this. I’m so glad that this year it will finally start. I’m ready to live a more relaxed life and be in control of our life. Not to live a life where I get up way too early, go to work and spend all day doing something I actually don’t want to do, earn money to live a way too expensive lifestyle (because everything is so expensive here) and just earn money to put gas in my car to be able to go to work. And to pay off a house that is really way too expensive in comparison to what you earn here. And at the end of each month you have no money left, you didn’t buy something extra but you just payed all the bills and loans. And every month you try to do with less but still end up having nothing. And you didn’t have time to do all the things you wanted to do because you spend all your time at work or in traffic trying to get to work or home. Maybe it does sound a bit pessimistic. But this is how I started seeing things over time. I go to work to earn money just to be able to go to work. And I spend all day doing stupid things to make the boss rich and pay off his pool and his second or third vacation house somewhere in Italy or Spain who knows. And in reward for my freedom and time, this boss gives me a little bit of money so that I can buy the stuff I need like food. Food that I have to buy because I don’t have time to grow it myself. So it’s just an endless circle which all comes down to the same. If you can have your freedom and time, you can do more and need less money to live. If you can repair or build your home yourself because you have time instead of hiring someone to do it for you and pay for it, I think your freedom is worth it.

And at the end this lifestyle was getting really way too depressing for me. I want to be free and enjoy life. It can all be over sooooo fast and I know this might sound dreamy and maybe unreallistic. But I can’t help myself and wonder: but what if it works out?

 

Have a nice day everyone! Talk to you soon with more updates!

xoxo, moi

IMG_7725.JPG(my snowy garden plant)

Happy New Years Eve everyone!

Today I woke up and I knew it was going to be an amazing day. Because today it is finally D-day!

Au revoir 2016!

Today is the day that it all will happen. Today it is the last day of this awefull year 2016 where everything went wrong and all celebreties seemed to die. Today, we burry 2016 somewhere far away in our memories where we hopefully will never find it again. It just really wasn’t my year I’m sorry. It’s been long enough now, time for something beter!

Bienvenue 2017!

Finally… Tonight at 0:00 I can finally embrace you my sweet 2017. It’s like going home after war. You’ve been through hell and now you can go to better, peacefull times. I’m already starting the first day of 2017 very good. I know it’s a small step for mankind, but I can assure you it’s a huge step for me… After all the family reunions, I have had it. I just hate them, although that I love my family. But it’s just not okay if you have 1 week of holiday and you are supposed to spend seven out of nine days with family. Like not just parents but actually the entire family of uncles, aunts, cousins and their children. No I’m sorry that’s just way too much socializing for me. So I’m very proud of myself that for the latest invitation to the family reunion on the 1st of January, I politely passed.

And I can assure you it’s a big deal in a family where family reunion invitations are considered informative as in where you need to be on what date and time, instead of actually an invitations as in a question if you will be able to make it on that day. But since I had already mentioned that I don’t get out of the house on the 1st of January due to my possible hangover meeting with Mrs Cava tonight, I didn’t really expect the “elderly” of the family to pick that date for their family reunion. So I interpreted this like we were not obliged to be there and I politely said we couldn’t make it. And when I confirmed our absence to the host (my auntie) on Sunday, I knew shit was about to go down… But I took the chance and waited patiently for the unavoidable responses. It was to my biggest surprise that it took until Wednesday evening for my parents to find out. And by the time of my mothers text message (almost ten in the evening) I assume she was not very happy.

But when I talked to her later this week, I was really suprised that they didn’t make a big deal out of it. So that’s good news. I can cancel family reunions without getting killed. This will make my life so much easier knowing this.

New Years Eve Tonight

Maybe because New Years Eve is on a Saturday this year and because I have a certain schedule in my weekend, but my day started off prety  boring. As always on Saturday, I started by doing the laundry, drink my morning coffee, release our homebod (Slave) to start vacuuming the house.

Slave really has been one of the best purchases we have ever done. It’s amazing how much time I save with this. Now the entire house is getting vacuumed while I can start on cleaning other parts of the house. I once complained to my boyfriend that I wished he vacuum cleaned the house, and that I would clean with soap afterwards plus clean the bathrooms and everything else. It was just too much for me alone and it took so much time. I should have seen it coming, although he caught me by surprise when the home ordered Homebod arrived in the mail a few days later. Now both of our problems were solved: I saved time because the homebod would vacuum for me, and my boyfriend didn’t have to do it so he also saved time. I couldn’t really argue or complain, but I was just afraid he missed my point at the whole situation. But anyways, both our problems got solved!

For the evening, I have several little snacks prepared we can eat during the entire evening with some wine or cava. I’m really looking forward to it. It will just be the two of us and we have no plan at all. But we really enjoy eachothers company and both are a little crazy so eventually, new years eve always turns out hilarious with the two of us. Most years I already fall asleep a first time by ten in the evening and wake up for the countdown. But then again, most years I’m exhausted from work and since I’m home on sick days lately, I’m pretty awake this year. We also have these typical new years eve tv-shows on German television of a live party somewhere in Germany. These shows are so horrible that they are hilarious. We often put them on tv  and we watch until I cry from laughing. They are just really funny…

So what are you all going to do today?

Big plans or parties?

I’d love to hear about them!

Have an amazing New Years Eve and a happy 2017 everyone!

xoxo,

Moi

emotional-happy-new-year-inspirational-quotes-1024x576(Google)

Project France – a solid plan

Now that the Holidays are getting by and all stressy obliged get togethers are almost over, we are so done with winter. We are seriously no winter people. Maybe if there would be some snow yes, and then maybe for 3 days, but now that it is just freezing and raining all the time… No, we are outdoor people who like nothing more than to stroll trough the garden, water our flowers and plants, take care of the vegetables in the garden,… Even the cats are officially in hibernation now. They only move when food is served. On the other hand, that’s just what cats do I guess…

We have been looking at properties for sale online a lot lately. There is just SO much potential back there in South France! When we just look at all these houses or farms for sale, our hands start to itch to just start renovating and bould our sunny home. We have been gathering different kind of materials and working tools that will come in handy when we are renovating in France. The more we already have when buying a property, the more money we have to buy building materials or renovate the place.

I’m also already looking into all these selfsustaining gardening tips and tricks. You can save so much money by just growing your own foods! The less we actually need to buy at a store, the better! Lucky for me I’m a vegetarian so I don’t have to bother to raise livestock for meat. No need for that just veggies! And ofcourse some chickens to feed our vegetables-leftovers and get daily eggs.

We’re also still working on a solid money-plan. We will have to create different kinds of money income even if you can live very selfsustaining. So we’re still looking at all the possibilities for this but we’re getting there. We are definitely a lot further than last year! We have made a huge amount of progress with our solid plan to move to France!

But ofcourse, everything starts with the French house itself that we still have to find and buy… But that is for Juni 2017! So exciting…

xoxo,

Moi

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Life after Christmas

It’s that time of the year again… That time when Christmas has passed and I feel like the holiday season is over. Does anyone else have the urge to just clean up all the Christmas decoration once the Christmas parties are over? I do. And I’m so ready for Spring and Summer but that is a looooong time from now…

coffee (Google)

Christmas Diner Obligations

We had two very nice Christmas parties, one on Saturday with the family in law and one on Sunday with my family. We had a lot of presents, ate really good food, drank good wine and champagne, laughed, talked,… It was really nice to see everyone. Who knows, maybe next Christmas we won’t be there anymore. Maybe, and I really hope so, we have found our dream house in France by next Christmas and we can celebrate Christmas with just the two of us in our new home in France with some baguette, French cheese and some fine Frenche wine. I think everyone in my family must think we are so weird. I think we are the only ones who don’t look forward to the holidays and all the festivities attached to it. Everyone is always so excited for the Christmas party and to see everyone. But for us, it’s just way too crowded, stressy and noisy. We actually like it to be on our own with not too much people around us. Not that we are anti-social or hate everyone, we just like things quitet in this stressy and busy lifestyle nowadays… But since it is not socially accepted to just cancel your Christmas party invitation without a good reason (like: children are sick, party at the other family, vacation,…) I guess we just always have to be there. And since we don’t have children to use as an excuse (cats are apperantly not children), we have no other family party at the same date or no vacation since I’m still sick and can’t go anywhere, I guess we had to go… It was fun don’t get me wrong, but I’m so glad all the Christmas diners are over now.

New Years Eve Schedule : Bubbles . Black out . Toilet .  Hang over . Aspirins  

And since the New Years diner is on the 1st this year, I was glad to decline that invitation. No way I will make it on the 1st of January. Do they have any idea how many bottles of gin and cava I have ready in the fridge? No, on the 1st of January it is my tradition to spend all day on the sofa, drinking coffee , sipping pain killers for the hang over and whining about how I hate that hang over and how I will never drink again. And if it was a really good/bad evening (depends on how you see it), I might also clean up the toilet on the 1st January and remove all remaining vomit that witnessed New Years Eve at it’s best. So I guess I do like “some” traditions to keep. I always look like crap on the 1st January so no way people will see me then. This year I will make one exception: the daily nurse who takes care of me. Because it needs to be done but otherwise: no one! However, I seriously doubt it if I will drink much this New Years Eve or be drunk at all. Since I had these surgeries, I really can’t drink anymore. Yesterday at the Christmas reception I had two glasses of Champagne and my whole world was upside down and the room was spinning like a fun fair… It’s really funny I can’t tollerate the alcohol anymore but maybe it’s a good thing… So thank you but no thank you, I think we will politely pass for the New Years diner this year since you picked the worst date ever. Does anyone else have a family that loves to create get-togethers for the entire family on the 1st January? I think they do it to torture the young family members or to test our loyalty the the family… It’s all just one big conspiracy…

The Christmas “being bored- hang over”

But as I started in this blog post, today is still the first day after Christmas. And all I could think of this morning was how sad it is that we (almost) never have snow on Christmas (or any time around it). This morning I woke up by the sound of rain gushing down on our roof. It’s a grey, cold and wet day with absolutely nothing to do. Even the cats went back to bed after breakfast instead of their morning walk… There really is not much to do. I already cleaned the house this weekend, did the laundry,… All work is done. I wish it was spring and I could start working in the garden again… Start planting vegetables in the greenhouse, prepare the garden for summer. I’m really not an indoor cat…

So do any of you have a white Christmas right now?

How did you celebrate it? 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Processed with VSCO with t1 preset (Google)

Xoxo,

Moi

Vacation in Le Gers booked!

Finally! It’s almost 2017 and I’m not mad about it. 2016 was definitely not my year… But as I heard, for a lot of people it wasn’t a good year. I really hope 2017 will be better. I don’t think it can get any worse than 2016 unless I actually die. But I’ve had illness, hospitalizations (not mine alone), funerals, severe stress at work, car crashes (not me!),… the list goes on but let’s not drag about the past.

To have something to look forward to, our summer vacation is booked! We have booked a wonderfull house in Le Gers (France) for 2 weeks and I’m looking forward to it! It’s a new region we haven’t explored yet, but we have read all about it and we already love it! I really hope all goes well because this is a region where we (maybe even in 2017!) hope to buy our dream house one day.

So besides that it is ofcourse a vacation and we will relax and enjoy our time there, we are also on a mision. A very important one! Our mision is to explore the area and see if it really is as nice as we thought it is and if we would actually want to live there. Also, we will drive around to check out properties for sale and check out some local immo house salers. And mostly, to get as much info as we can!

We also booked our tickets again( second time!) to visit the emigration fare in the Netherlands in February. There are a lot of representatives of countries with information, people who already moved to another country and want to share their experience, lectures about important information you should know before moving to another country, little shops with typical goodies from all these different countries. The list is endless. It’s very usefull I think to go there if you have these plans. And for us, it’s not that far from Belgium.

Last year we also went the the emigration fare but we didn’t figure out our plan yet, we didn’t know yet what exactly we wanted to do or where we wanted to move. But since last year, we kind of figured it all out so we have some specific questions to ask there which will be more helpfull. Last year we were a little bit overwelmed and actually came home with tons of information but nothing usefull or specific. I hope there are some people there who have actually moved to France and can give us more information on the “how to move” and stuff. I’m really looking forward to it!

Maybe next year, we can celebrate Christmas in our own house in France! But as for this year, we will still celebrate it here while dreaming of France… Merry Christmas everyone!

joyeux-noel

(Google)

XoXo, Moi

 

Ode to my guardian angel

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor near death experience

(Google)

I always wondered what people who die actually experience. How frustrating it must be when you know you are about to die and you have so much more plans in life, so much more you still want to do. So much that makes you want to fight so hard until the end. So much people that you love and who love you back that you will never see again. So many people who will be heartbroken because you are missing from their life.

 

On Friday 21 October I had my 5th surgery. On this day, I almost died. I mean, I probably would never have died, I was in the hospital and I was being monitored. And they would have reanimated me anyways. But still, while being in the recovery room after my surgery, I almost slipped away. Very silently, alone and while no one noticed.

 

It was the strangest thing. It was nothing like I expected. It just was surreal. One moment I was just breathing fine while lying there with my eyes closed, and then I just stopped breathing. From one breath to no breath at all. I had an allergic reaction to one of the injections they gave me. The nurses thought I was sleeping…

 

I remember that my temperature dropped really fast, I have never been so cold. I was shivering and frozen, the cold was unbearable. And then all of a sudden, I stopped breathing. I always thought that your lungs worked automatically, but that day they had a little break I guess. I didn’t have any urge to breath, it seemed like I didn’t need the oxygen at all. Everything was so calm and relaxing and I felt numb. I couldn’t move or talk, but I heard everything. And after a few minutes, one of the nurses noticed I was blue-grey. They finally noticed I wasn’t breathing, when my heart rate was falling so fast until it was gone for just a few seconds and the alarms went off…Then it was a bit of a chaos, nurses all around me. Slapping me in the face, screaming to me, flashing lights into my eyes, someone even hit my chest so hard to get me breathing again (or my heart) that it hurt for days afterwards.

 

And in all this panic, all I could think about was how calm and quiet it was. And despite of what I always thought, there was nothing worth fighting for at that moment. Nothing or no one mattered. I was so light headed and almost gone, I felt myself slipping away in the quietness. And nothing mattered, everything was okay. The world would not stop if I died. I didn’t have to fight I could just go to sleep now because God I was so tired and cold. It was like a warm blanket wrapped around me that I couldn’t resist. It was the best feeling in the world and I couldn’t imagine anything that mattered more than that warm blanked, nothing more important to start breathing again for. I wanted to go to sleep…

 

And even though I heard the nurses, I felt them slapping me. I heard them yell to bring the reanimation cart. I couldn’t move or say anything. They thought I was passed out, but I heard and felt it all. I just couldn’t respond. I remember I was crying with my eyes closed. Very silently, tears rolled down my cheeks. Because I knew what was going on and I knew that I hadn’t been breathing for so long, I almost didn’t feel my heart beating anymore. And I knew it couldn’t be long anymore before I blacked out due to lack of oxygen or heartbeats. And that everything would be over. And all would be okay…

 

And then someone hit me on the chest SO hard it hurt like hell. Not at the moment, I didn’t feel any pain back then. But the days afterwards… It was a real bump and hurt so much. It felt like someone broke my chest with a slash hammer. I remember after that hard hit, they air started to fill my lungs really slow. And very slowly I started breathing again. My heart rate went up again, the color came back and after a while I wasn’t cold anymore. I was back. I remember it was around lunch time. And all I could think of afterwards was: how weird. Everyone is having lunch and talking about their weekend plans. And there I was, being slapped in the face. There is so much to live for, so much to do. But in a certain way, I am glad that in the end you don’t really care for this anymore. That when your time is really there, you’ll embrace it. That nothing matters and you don’t have to feel stressed, depressed or sad that you will miss so much. I guess that makes it easier to just let go. Because when your time really comes, you just have to let go and nothing else will matter anymore. So why worry about it in your last moments? I know it wasn’t my time yet, and that I must have one heck of a guardian angel out there. But I’m comforted with the thought of when my time one day will come, I can wrap myself in that warm blanket, go to sleep and have not a care in the world anymore…

The unforgetable trip to South Africa

It’s been 5 weeks and 2 days. On that weekend I was preparing and packing for our great adventure, our vacation to the far South Africa. I was so excited! Finally, I was going to see another continent, I was about to see Africa! I was so ready to go and see the Land of The Rising Sun. We packed our bags, we even bought some extra stuff and clothes to be fully prepared. South African money order: Check! Luggage: Check! Emptying the fridge: Check! Final cleaning of the house: Check! We were SO ready…

 

But that last weekend, about 5 days before we were about to take off by plane, I had woken up with a certain pain. At first I ignored it, no time for pain because we were about to leave on holiday. But by Saturday evening, the pain has gotten unbearable and I had gotten a fever of 39°C. I was getting worse by the hour… Eventually I went to the doctor on Sunday, asked for some strong medication so that I would be all better by next weekend and we could leave for Africa. But the doctor didn’t give me a strong medication. She sent me straight to theEmergency Room at the  hospital for further examination…

 

It was a very long day and evening at the hospital. They did so many tests. In the evening, still at the Emergency Room, they finally decided what to do with me. I guess I was not going home that evening… I needed surgery that same night and had to stay in the hospital. They cut out the cause of my pain and infection, but for some reason, my body kept failing to keep the infection away. Finally, 2 weeks and four surgeries later I was stable enough to head back home. In the meantime, I had another surgery, need to do some more tests and will need another surgery this month. But we are finally getting a little bit better so hopefully this nightmare will soon be over.

 

It’s funny how life can work out for you. You have all these plans and hopes and dreams. It has been such a difficult and exhausting year and the only thing that pulls you through is the plan that you are going to see Africa. And at the very moment when you need it the most before falling apart in this stressful, exhausting and demanding world and society, they take it away. And push you a little further. But I guess that’s life. Always pushing you to your limites… I sincerely hope life will make it up to me next year, I think I have had about enough by now for one year. 🙂

 

Anyways, I’m sorry I have no awesome stories about my trip to South Africa… Maybe one day I will, but not at the moment or any time soon. But I do can tell you all about hospitals, ice cold surgery rooms with bright lights shining in your eyes before you pass out, being sick when you wake up again and the warm embrace of morphine when pain is unbearable….*sigh* What great things will come my way after this sacrifice and suffer, I can’t wait to see it happen! 🙂

 

So remember to always make the most out of every day in your life, don’t plan too much ahead and be greateful for life and what you have… It can change any day.